Life after 3.15pm tomorrow

I briefly read about this in a self-help book ( yes, I'm only human). A reactive person is someone who chooses to let the surrounding circumstances influence his/her decisions and behaviour. Most of us, I hope, try to refrain from such negative behaviour but in reality, we all succumb, sooner or later. A proactive person, on the other hand, allows anything and everything to happen to them because they realise that these things more or less happen because of the decisions they chose which led them to experience whatever they are experiencing. After going through a negative experience, they don't find someone to blame for the sticky mess that they are in. They evaluate the choices they have and react rationally, and in the process, potraying themselves as decent human beings with the ability to think.

But right now, at this very moment, I don't feel like the proactive person I'm trying to be. I feel very reactive. Like anything anyone says to me, I'll take it negatively without even thinking and I'll go about forming perceptions which are totally misguided, blah blah. I took all the "bad" things that happened to me over this specific period of time and totally went bonkers about it because it simply made me mad. I didn't think about the different perspectives, I didn't try to "step in their shoes", I didn't give them the benefit of the doubt etc.

Sometimes, when I look back at my actions, I give myself a mental slap because I wasn't thinking. I wasn't proactive and thus I didn't take control of the situation. The blame, if any, should have been on me. But then I meet people who totally piss you off and you forget about the whole " think rationally" plan ( hey, like I said, I'm only human.) That's what I'm kinda feeling now.

So now I'll attempt to make a proactive decision. I've been meaning to do this for awhile now but lately its become more and more of a necessity. I should restrict myself from the world, don't you think? Work on my physical, emotional and spiritual health, pick up a few skills and hobbies and sustain my emotional venting on this blog. I need major time off to rethink different aspects of my not so complicating life. Sometimes, all it takes is some external influence for you to obtain a misguided way of thinking. It's time I felt confident about my own beliefs, which are, of course, supported by relevant evidence(s). And if it means that I have to be by myself most times of the day, then I think its a worthwhile, short-term investment.