Ponders dating

by Maliah Zubir.

I once read an Oprah magazine issue where an effective way to find your “perfect” significant other is to know what you want. Namely, by making a list of qualities that you want in this significant other. So I was watching the director’s commentary of You’ve Got Mail - my favourite movie in the entire world - and she said something very true: We just want to meet ourselves. On that list of qualities that we want in the “perfect” partner, we are writing down what we like. In my case I’d be writing “likes Disney, Harry Potter”, “fluent in English”, “passionate” so I’m basically describing myself in that list. Nora Ephron, the director, also mentioned how arrogant it is to say something like “I’d never date a Republican / someone who owns a boat / likes Joni Mitchell”. We all have our own “I’d never date” list in our head. Nadia and I actually made a list of it. For example, I’d never date a guy who wears slippers further than their nearby minimart or supermarket. I’d never date a guy whose jeans are too tight. But I guess it is arrogant. Just as arrogant as saying “I can never imagine being in a relationship with”. We never know who we might end up with. There might be qualities that totally outweigh and trump the “I’d never date” list, making them forgivable qualities.
So what I’m trying to say is that, maybe the right person for us isn’t who we want them to be. They could be the complete opposite of us and maybe at the beginning, a meeting between us is a clash of the titans. But the thing that makes the relationship work might be respect, understanding, acceptance or something alone that line.
That’s just me thinking. There’s a lot more where that came (not about dating) but let’s save it for next time.